From The Inside Out.

Something is taking my heart away; I can feel it literally pulling at every artery and vein and slowly ripping it out. And although tears come to my eyes each and every time that I consider it, these salty drops aren’t from sadness or pain, but instead from joy and desire to follow the source.  The way to this source isn’t an easy one; it’s a narrow path, a one-way street, a dark tunnel, but with the brightest light at the end.

God’s doing something with me. He’s breaking my heart and building it back up.  He’s preparing me for his work. He’s making me sit outside of a lecture hall, tears in my eyes, and a sniffly nose as I consider His power. And despite the other homework I could and perhaps should be doing at this moment, He’s making me type this, whatever it is. Whatever it becomes. God’s doing it all.

Last week, I discovered I could get Pandora music on my phone.  For those of you who don’t know what Pandora is, it’s just great. Go to pandora.com and start building your perfect playlist.  If you’re really daring, let God build your perfect playlist. Today, I left my dorm room and walked outside to the brisk Purdue sidewalks.  I plugged in my headphones, and typed Brandon Heath’s name into the station finder on Pandora.  It was God. Only God could hand pick every song that played and has played in the past few hours.  Folks, I can’t put into words on a computer screen the wonder and awe that is going back and forth between my head and heart right now.

God is so good.  That’s all there is to it.

I walked out of class today to the gloomy clouds of February and once again, turned on my new music friend- my phone. This stopped me in my tracks, froze me for more than the cold air, and warmed my frigid eyes with tears: the sky opened and the sun illuminated the piles of snow on the sidewalk.  I know you’re thinking, “Okay, what’s the big deal? So the sun came out.”  That’s not what stopped me. That’s not what gave me chills. That’s not what hit me like a ton of bricks. The lyrics to the song that had just started did all of that: “Light up the sky, You light up the sky to show me You are with me. I can’t deny, no, I can’t deny that You are right here with me. You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me.”

I don’t just have a feeling that God is trying to get me to hear him.  He’s not whispering anymore, he’s past the “inside voice” level, and isn’t just screaming at a Friday night football game. God is talking through a speaker of enormous proportion.  God is announcing the opening ceremonies of the Olympics.  If noise could be 3-D, He would be using it. Maybe He is, because I think He can probably make that happen. That’s what I’m going to go with- God is speaking to me in 3-D. And the same way I can’t not jump when something flies towards me in a 3-D movie, I can’t not listen to Him. I can’t ignore it. It’s impossible. 

So that’s that.  I don’t know what else needs to be said or what else needs to be done. I’m going to wait for Him to tell me. But I wanted you all to know what God’s doing in me. I wanted you all to know that God is a master communicator.  I wanted all of you to be aware of it, because I want all of you to listen.  You don’t open your ears with God, you open your heart. So open your heart, and listen.

I have a feeling that I’m going to be going on a journey. I’d love it if you wanted to join me. I’m going to try to keep updating and let you know how this whole thing goes. More importantly, I’m going to try to let this thing go somewhere.

It may be a little late for new year’s resolutions, but here’s mine: Be Bold. Be Obedient. Be His Child.

God bless.